Psychotherapy - Linde Rosenberg M.Hlth. Sc. (Hons). MNZAP - Registered Psychotherapist

Couples Processing

Our intimate love relationships are the often the closest and most important emotional connections we have, other than those with our family of origin.

Difficulties in these relationships cause the deepest pain because our natural desire to move away from things and people that hurt us pain conflicts with our deep need for attachment and belonging. We especially want to be heard and understood by our partner or spouse. But if we are afraid to tell each other how we feel for fear of: hurting or enraging them; or being abandoned; or if we don’t have the words, we may feel trapped, guilty, angry, afraid or confused. We may blame the other or want them to change so that we don’t have to feel that pain.

However, couples relationships can also be the most healing of all and enable us to fulfill needs that have not been met and to resolve issues that began in our families and which we still carrying with us. Indeed, one of the purposes of being in a couple may be to find that healing.

Often we have chosen a partner who reminds us of a parent and this triggers old patterns. W e may have been attracted to someone out of our desire to be cared about or in order to rescue or heal them, without realising what equal adult relationships need to make them work. On the other hand, we may have been attracted to someone very different to ourselves and our parents, only to find that these very differences now feel impossible to live with. Our choices have usually been unconscious.

Couples processing helps a couple put words to the things that are difficult to say, in the presence of a safe third party who can make sure that each partner is heard and can reflect back patterns, themes and issues in a way that brings understanding and insight, as well as helping you find ways to move forward. This may also involve reflecting on the fundemental beliefs and expectations you bring to the relationship, as well on family patterns, in order to use these insights to understand yourself and your partner in the present. Intelligence is much greater than intellect, for it is the integration of reason and love; but there can be intelligence only when there is self-knowledge, the deep understanding of the total process of oneself. Krishnamurti (1895 - 1986) Indian philosophic teacher Contact: Linde Rosenberg 09 849 3953 / 027 440 6331 linderose@ihug.co.nz Pt Chevalier. Auckland. Couples processing sessions are 1hr - 1.5 hrs Usually a few sessions are needed.